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Wedding Day Nerves????

So it’s been months, perhaps years in the planning. The venue is booked, the dress and suit are hanging in the wardrobe waiting to be worn, the menu has been chosen and the cake is on order. The invitations are out for RSVP and the speeches are now being thought about.

Whaaaaat speeches? – Oh no!!! The BIG day looms larger and closer and then nerves start to kick in as creativity deserts the brain. Performance anxiety and the concerns about how well it will all go on the day are now building up.

It doesn’t have to be this way …follow these:

5 Top Tips to keep you calm under mounting pressure: 

  1. Place your hand on your tummy or on your chest and notice how your hand moves with each rise and fall as you breath. If you have two hands free, even better, place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach and notice which hand moves most. The point of this is to notice your breathing. By placing your hands on yourself it connects you back to body and away from all the stress inducing thoughts to a sense of being present. This is itself can offers a sense of calm, and naturally lead to regulating and deepening of the breath. (Stress can cause fast and shallow breathing causing fuzzy thoughts as oxygenation of the blood is reduced).
  2. Slow down your speech and begin to say your words and sentences with deliberation and clarity as you communicate. This enables you to have more thinking time and can actually improve your diction and sentence structure. It will also ensure that you can be more focused and attentive in your interactions.
  3. Mentally and physically rehearse what you want to say or do in front of an appreciative, loving and kind audience if you are rehearsing a speech, walking up the aisle or performing best man/bridesmaid duties. Seek helpful feedback. Be measured rather than rushed.  In the end the big day goes past in a blur and you’ll wish you could have slowed it down and remember more of the event afterwards.
  4. Choose to enjoy it, all of it! Not just the day itself but all of the activities in preparation up to and including the wedding day. Think about all the wonderful ways in which it will go well and about how many things are being ticked off the ‘to do’ list. How exciting it is to be planning such a wonderful occasion in your life and sourcing all of the things that will add to it’s success and the enjoyment for everyone!
  5. Ask for help. People who love and care about you and your wedding will be more than willing to help out with planning and arrangements if asked. If you can delegate tasks and hand over certain duties – trust it will all be done and step back and allow yourself to be grateful for it is all coming together. You may decide to choose the best man and the chief bridesmaid to coordinate some aspects of your wedding and just communicate with them rather than a whole team. It is really your choice and depends on the level of enjoyment or stress it invokes for you.

Coaching can be a game-changer. I coach the best man, father of the bride, bride and groom to get beyond the nerves and anxiety so that they are fully prepared and set for the best day possible. I will include all of the above top tips and more into ensuring you feel fully emotionally prepared for the big day by creating your circle of excellence, and magic resources to prepare you.

I recommend that you consider coaching throughout the preparation stages whether that’s a year or a month away from the date!

If you want to enjoy the build up and the have a fantastic time on the big day give me a call on 07731 693082.

 

Frances Barrone – Coach and Mentor

 

Live Life – Love Weddings

 

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1467643143427-3ceb4e1ea2d5?ixlib=rb-0.3.5&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&s=57efd842e8d8815d7db54383a7b71007&w=1000&q=80

 

 

Frances Barrone – MasterCoach (CLC)

Coaching wedding confidence to enjoy the day without stress

 

Coach and Mentor

Life Coach Centre

Wroughton

Wiltshire

SN4 9EJ

 

Mobile: 07731 693 082

Email: francesbarrone@gmail.com

Twitter:@FBarrone

 

https://francesbarrone.wordpress.com

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I am good enough

imageI seem to have amnesia when it comes to achievement. After a challenging couple of years around bereavement and ensuing family health issues affecting household income followed by an enforced house move I think my confidence suffered hugely.

As someone who now works as a Life and Business Coach and has worked  in training, education and development I somehow expect myself to be Teflon coated, but I’m not! I’m simply human and also have vulnerabilities despite being outwardly confident, competent and achievement oriented. A fellow coach told me of a client who claimed she ‘used to have a degree’! I totally relate – I sometimes simply forget all of my lifetime accomplishments! These reminders often come from external feedback or probing questions.

I know that it is this vulnerability that gave birth to my desire to support others to overcome adversity, find potential and strive for their goals. Many people just need a compassionate soul to encourage and inspire them towards their deepest secret ambitions. Now, as a fully grown and responsible adult I believe in the support of a coach and mentor to keep up momentum of forward movement to prevent me from living a life of quiet desperation.

I know that on my journey I have had the benefit of teachers and managers who believed in me as well know the damage caused by those who didn’t. All of this has helped to create the internal dialogues that can on one hand tell me I’m not good enough and on the other tell me I am. The brain and the ego work in mysterious ways creati g internal conflict but herein lies our endless potential.

In the end I can only look at the evidence of the distance travelled in life and the loving connections I’ve made along the way. I am loved, I am loving, I am living well. I can always choose enough treat myself with care and compassion knowing that I deserve everything good in life. I can forgive myself for my vulnerability,  I can value myself as I would value everyone I hold in high regard. I can forgive myself for not being perfect and accept that my imperfections protect me from arrogance and leave me room for growth whilst allowing me to be accepting of others particularly those who I press my buttons or transgress my values.

Ultimately,   I am good enough – and so are you! Xx

 

 

 

 

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Mum and Dad

Mum and Dad

Today is a reminder of how families grow and decline. I awoke to the realisation that I have a new little nephew called Caelan. He was born last night to my sister Louise. Louise is my youngest sibling and was perhaps closest to my Mum and Dad. Louise is so pleased to be a mum again, she also has a gorgeous daughter aged 9.
We lost Dad suddenly in 2010 quite suddenly and unexpectedly and I know how he would have loved to have welcomed another grandson. I lost a baby boy 10 years ago as he was born prematurely and did not survive the birth. I remember how desperate I felt to be a Mum to a boy and how devastating it was to explain to my 7 year old how her much wanted sibling had not survived. Thankfully she now has a sister and I am blessed to have my two gorgeous girls.
When I saw my nephew’s photographs texted to my mobile phone today, It brought tears to my eyes. I felt instant joy as the site of this gorgeous new little life. This was quickly followed by a deep yearning to cuddle and hold the baby. I then felt the deeply buried sadness again for the loss of my own baby boy. I always feel slightly jealous of others who manage to keep their baby boys.
Up until now most boys carry the family name into marriage and secure the family’s future. My eldest daughter is from my first marriage, her Dad did not go on to have any other children. He has a sister who married so neither of them have a legacy to carry on their family name.
The same applies with my current husband. We have a daughter and are not going to have any other children, so the decline of the family name is evident for us too. (I took his name when we married).
I feel sad at the loss of my Dad and my son and at how I have contributed to the decline of the family name for the fathers of my children for the future. I realise how my body failed in supporting the expansion of my family.
The only way to prevent the continuation of my daughters surnames would be for the girls to keep their names when they marry and use the name for their children. This would go against tradition so is perhaps unlikely.
Despite all this, I feel that all families somehow carry on though the names may change and besides I am truly blessed to have had a mum and a dad who loved me as I love them. The surnames are titles for the on-going family names. Actually what really matters though is the role we play within the title, the proudest title I ever earned is simply Mum, the most joy I ever had was teaching my children to say Dad(dy). I love this picture of my Mum and Dad and know it was taken about the same time as making me!

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